Monday, 21 July 2014

Fake cocks in bisexual fantasies?

It's said that we are all bisexual to a degree with some being closer to the gay end of the spectrum and others being closer to the straight end but mostly we are somewhere in between. I personally identify as bisexual but as I don't have available a regular girl playmate who is also a working girl or anyone to offer a complete bi-double service with, I don't advertise bi-doubles as an option. 

On the scale with gay being at one end and straight at the other and bisexual as the intersecting part in the middle, I'm probably mostly closer to the straight end. I am definitely a man's lady and in a two-woman pairing I prefer to be the more feminine of the two, but not such a passive partner as this could imply. My very first lesbian fantasy revealed one kind of woman I am attracted to: a boyish woman, with hardly any breasts to speak of although I do enjoy broad hips on a woman. I like a short-haired woman whose hair I can run my fingers through - I hate hair with product in it on a girl. I like a woman with attitude, bad attitude that is. (Think Samantha Ronson as opposed to the sweet, blue-eyed Ellen Degeneres). My ultimate lesbian fantasy is to play with a woman like this, mutual oral would be divine and eventually to have phallic sex toys used on me (and obviously her if that's her thing too). I love a woman like this who can use a strap-on on me. Go figure. I have one client who dreams of bring present during this scenario particularly if he can indulge in anal play while I am being fucked. 

Having said that I'm attracted to slightly dangerous boyish girls though, I also love interacting sexually with cuddly, large-breasted, soft-bellied women, the real earth-mother BBW type but they have to be soft and feminine, no ball-breakers allowed in that fantasy. And I get to wear the strap-on first if we use it. Isn't it interesting what these two two-women scenarios say about me and my mental constructs of masculinity and femininity?  And that the strap-on is a must in both fantasies?

I was talking with a client the other day about his attraction to ladyboys. He likes feminine boys presenting as women, pre-op transsexuals. He says gay men do nothing for him, he needs tits on them, even though he's not a "tits-man". Like me, he is also turned on by women wearing strap-ons. The way he described it really did it for me. He wants to visit a hooker who is wearing a strap-on when she answers the door. Even better, he wants her to be wearing a strap-on under her dress which he can reach up and grab. Very erotic.  I must get a strap-on.  I'd like to be that hooker.

I'm endlessly amazed by how such diverse fantasies get our juices going - and often wonder whether it is worth looking up my kept notes from a uni paper I did to see how Jung or Freud would interpret such. Surely even the straightest of the straight have ideas which intrigue them which could be considered homo-erotic - if they can bring themselves to be honest with themselves, that is. 

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Slightly kink - English

English is not a term that is commonly used to describe caning and other parallel activities, but apparently it used to be and I feel it is quite obvious where that term came from, for anyone who prior to 1980 had any experience of English-style boarding schools, boys' boarding schools that is.

I went to a girls' one, but in attempts to create super-classes of toffee-nosed future mothers and fathers and meet the right boys and girls, we were occasionally put together with our 'brother school' (great big halls of sex-starved adolescent males waiting for us as we arrived by bus - we had been reminded before leaving of the rules and expectations and reputation of our beloved school) and occasionally in the school holidays, farming families with grand houses would allow their children to put on social events (parties in their barns, for example) and invite a select few - this is where a few of the girls from my school lost their virginities or maybe even met the boys who were to be the cause of their futures as farmers' wives. While I occasionally look back on these days with affection and keep in touch to a degree with some of my fellow old girls, these experiences are largely responsible for my lack of motivation to ever be one of the supposed upper echelons of society or to raise my family to aspire to be.

At girls' boarding schools there was no corporal punishment or even physical fighting among each other, this was really looked down upon at my school, with general ostracism and cattiness being more socially acceptable as a way to get back at each other, but according to partners I've had in the past who attended boys' boarding schools, caning was rife and in fact fondly reminisced about. Different house masters and teachers had different styles of caning and some teachers took to it more readily than others.

And so perhaps this is how fetishes for caning start. While I'm up for almost anything, some fetishes could leave a working girl legally compromised, and caning and BDSM is definitely one of them. A few months ago I got in touch with Mistress Mary from Wellington to see if she would mentor me in a related area and while it did not eventuate, she said she was pleased someone was taking it seriously as far too many ladies start this kind of work thinking it is an easy alternative to actual sex when it is not and they can then do a bit of damage.

Sometimes I get calls to try new things and I am always honest when I haven't got a clue or have never tried a thing, but more often than not, men will still be eager to use an inexperienced sex worker for these sorts of encounters. And this is how I found myself with a cane in my hand the one and only time I did it.

My client had a specific thing he wished to be punished for and in this order, punishment consisted of being spanked on his bare (of course) arse with my hand, a Mason Pearson style of hairbrush - the sort women don't use any more because they can damage your hair, a paddle which had a rather satisfying thwack noise to it and lastly, a cane. To those ladies who think this is the easy alternative to sex, it is not. The caning was particularly tiring as there is only a small area that can be safely whacked, and the cane has to be whipped through the air and onto the arse in a certain motion, not just haphazardly flung. The sound, a quick whoosh, is rather pleasing though. He seemed to enjoy himself and he brought his camera with which I photographed his sorry ass for him.

I have a friend who was a Domme for a number of years and she eventually decided to switch to sensual massage as the severity of her Domme personality was exhausting her. I gather it can be a lifestyle that could be all encompassing. It's not for every sex worker and because of this pricing is different and I believe genuine services of this nature do not involve sex.

As I am inexperienced I am not really the right person to be approached for this kind of service which is why this post is a bit sketchy. I'd recommend seeing a real Domme, who has the skills and experience to indulge those wanting to try the English fetish and other humiliation fantasies. Otherwise your humiliation could last beyond your death if it eventuated as a result of BDSM and that is not a desirable outcome for the client, his loved ones or the Domme. RIP Peter Plumley-Walker who died after being incorrectly suspended during a B&D session (but not as a result of it).

Monday, 7 July 2014

What do men like?

Johann Zoffany: (part of) The Tribuna of the Uffizi (feat. Titian: Venus of Urbino)

Here is a controversial anti-feminist - or is it? - statement by Amber O'Hara: Men are the delicious other halves of our lives - the yang to our yin, the strong to our vulnerable (supposedly) and the penises to our vaginas (if we are straight, that is).

It's the penises to our vaginas (and other orifices) that I have a particular interest in in this line of work and personally, as I have had an interest in sex and an acceptance of it from an early age. I don't consider this an unhealthy interest when I look back, but it was a private thing, I learned early that some questions or topics of conversation were apparently too perverse to raise. 

I remember at the age of 8, my best little friend (also 8) telling me that we were existing here because our fathers had put their penises into our mothers' vaginas. She was appalled as this meant her lovely gentle father had "dirtied" her mother twice as there were two children in their family. 

We then examined my family, with a great number of children and she concluded that my father was a dirty old man and my mother, well, she must be quite the dirty bitch (or words from an 8 year old to that effect). I on the other hand found it quite exciting, the thought that my parents were so dirty seemed progressive to me. 

Up until the age of about 12, when my friend's dad got a transfer for his job and they moved, my friend and I had many discussions about the nature of sex and what it could involve. She reported one morning that she had walked into her parents' room after hearing them laughing, only to find her father on top of her mother and although they had bedding covering them, she saw her mother's naked breast so assumed they had been baby-making. We counted ahead nine months to the expected delivery date. Nine months later she was still anxiously wondering why there was no sign of the baby, but I was still holding on to the thought that if they were laughing it must have been fun. 

Since then of course I have discovered that there are dozens of different things to do with penises and vaginas (as well as anuses, mouths, breasts, hands and feet) and I am in the delightful situation where I still learn every day about a new thing a dude would like to try. In my privileged position as official regular playgirl for some of the more interesting men in Christchurch and the wider South Island of New Zealand, I discover and delve deeper into new sexual pastimes, usually going a little bit further as the level of trust deepens, and disclosures are made about things that would be fun to look at further. I hold those delicious thoughts till the next visit from my temporary male other half. 

There is something to be said for return visits. I can make a mental note about preferences and turn ons, and things to be gently worked towards based on information from previous visits and fun that was had. It's not that I see myself as some kind of therapist, hells no, I'm far too selfish for that, but as I have hinted at previously, I find the connection between the mind and the penis enthralling. As well as the riddle which is the question, what do men like? 

This particular man loves to look at, kiss, lick and penetrate my pussy when my ass is in the air, ready for doggy style; this other man loves to lightly slap my breasts when I am on top riding him or lying side by side but knows that when he does it too hard, I will retaliate with sharp slaps on his divinely wobbly ass until I am happy with the sound of my hand on his flesh; this other man, after years of never being allowed blow jobs at home, is willingly learning to accept that I am not degraded when I suck, lick and adore his beautiful cock whether I am on my knees on the floor or straddling him until the urge to fuck is overwhelming and I have to make him impale me; this other man likes to make me squirt and lick it off my thighs - the first time I saw him, he made me squirt three times in an hour, from then on I've adored him as if he's a god; this other man loves my breasts swinging freely and bouncing wildly while he fucks me fast; this other man loves to kneel at the edge of my bed as if to pray, before he pulls my legs over his shoulders with my pussy up to his face and licks and gently sucks until I am deliriously coming, oh my; this other man loves to lie next to me and look into my eyes when I am so hot that my hair is stringy and wet and I'm sweaty from multiple orgasms during our long sessions, while we talk about travel, music, film or just this, that and the other thing, laughing and joking like the old friends we have become. 

The unspoken-of partnership which is each liaison in sex work is the discovery and development of sexual desires at the best of times, or it's just a fabulous fuck and release of stress. Either way, I have found that men like it. 

Monday, 30 June 2014

Slightly kink - Japanese

I don't know if it is a thing that japanese people* do - but we jokingly call sex while menstruating "Japanese", referring to the fact that a large red puddle of blood on a white sheet resembles the japanese flag.

Yes, more squemishness may be in store for you and you may even doubt this but the fact is that there is a fetish for everything: Some men like sex with a woman when she has her period. A man once told me that it feels tight, like she is a virgin, and of course there is blood which is indicative of the breaking of a hymen. During sex between two adults, it is not for us to judge what turns people on, no one is forced to participate. Apparently the Hells Angels have this thing where they get their "red wings" by going down on a woman who is bleeding. Here's hoping it is with her consent.

Many, possibly even most men, however, find periods or sexual activity when a woman is menstrating the biggest turn off ever.  I know someone who, when younger, went through boyfriends like underwear as she would break up with them if they refused to go down on her when she was bleeding, quite the insult she believed.  She's now happily married to a guy who is ok with it obviously.

There is always some debate over whether working girls should take a break from sex work during their monthly cycle.  I prefer to take a break and catch up with my book-keeping and financial stuff during this time but if I have a pre-booking, I will try to postpone it without giving the reason (which I consider personal and "too much information".)  I was once forced to disclose when I offended a treasured client as he wrongly thought I was trying to stop seeing him once and for all!

Working girls commonly wear sponges if they choose to work while they are bleeding and if an occasion arises where I am working around the time when I am expecting my period then I use a sponge too.  I wouldn't want to get a surprise (which happened to me once before).  This could be disastrous if a man faints at the sight of blood or something.

Anything can happen in a booking and we all generally go with the flow, but let's not make that the menstrual flow unless specifically asked for.

* When I recently mentioned this blog topic to a client, he said that there is actually a Japanese menstrual fetish. On googling this I discovered he was right.

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Who are my clients?

Some people are curious and I have been asked who my clients are. I suspect to make themselves feel better about their negative attitudes towards sex work and to feel removed from it as much as possible, some like to think of sex workers' clients as revolting, perverse and generally unattractive men, the other, whom they are unlikely to have known. Let me assure you that in my experience this is not the case. The men we have sex with for money are your average men.  They are in everyone's lives as boyfriends, husbands, fathers, brothers and sons. I'm delighted to have met most of my clients.

In fact I am often amazed and feel quite fortunate to have met some of the men I have had sex for profit with. I have met an interesting cross-section of society from some of Christchurch's most public dudes whom I may have recognised from the media (not that I'd be so crass to blow their cover when I meet them or at any point afterwards - even the ladies I work with would vouch for me that I have never disclosed identities of clients even to them) to the low-key.  Rarely will a client be inclined to make a big song and dance about their being distinguished or important in their career and how extra efforts, whatever they could possibly be, should be made to ensure their privacy as we all know that each and every man has the same requirements as far as discretion goes but occasionally it does happen. ("Oh meh, you're only a lawyer.  Providing you don't attempt to murder me or harm me, your identity will not be front page news".)

The late, great Robert Palmer with his first hit song

It takes every kind of people to make what life's about.  We were all born equally naked and here we have found ourselves again inside my boudoir: naked together and equal. Just how I like it. Let the hot sex begin.

People often ask if I'm busy. Most definitely not. As a woman of a certain age I attract a clientele who is confident in their sexual know-how, knows how to ask for what they want and is most likely equally interested in my pleasure.  Some clients are extremely skilled in the bedroom, like the musician whose fine motor skills clearly are superior after years of rhythmic finger work.  I like to think I attract quality over quantity and am quite happy about that. I am genuinely interested in men and have few enough clients that I can mostly remember each of them which I consider to be a fortunate situation.  It means my work does not overwhelm me, I get to enjoy a simple and unhurried life with little touches of luxury here and there - I'm old enough to know what the real richness of life consists of. And I consider that as far as work goes, some of my clients are the equivalent of sexual touches of luxury.

Who would not want my adorable clients - mine are truly the Cream of the Crop as far as their attitudes towards sex workers go. It is well known that some of the under 25s must suffer through back-to-back bookings with the Cream of the Crap who have a penchant for one-sided pleasure with child-like sex workers or those much younger than themselves (each to their own) but by virtue of my maturity, I don't have that problem.

I am doing sex work because I honestly enjoy it. However without my clients I would not have an income.  God bless my lovely clients whom I truly value and enjoy.  They know they can call me any day whether I am advertising or not and I will do my best to see them.  I even saw a lovely gentleman on a day off which happened to be my birthday, his gift to me was a glorious orgasm. As much as possible, when I am in town, I will always go the extra mile for those clients of mine, that's how high they are in my estimation. So don't look down on me because I am a sex worker and have sex for profit as this is how I have designed my lifestyle for now and I consider that I am truly the lucky one.

Monday, 16 June 2014

Slightly kink - Greek

The tiniest bit of what I do is slightly kink, so if you get slightly squeamish about anything that is not totally straight you may want to skip this post.  Because it's about anal.  I first heard about anal sex as an enjoyable concept when I was a young woman.  A friend of mine told me that one of her favourite things to do with her boyfriend was anal sex.  She said it was "beautiful" and a huge turn on.  I, who strived to be open-minded, couldn't wait to try it.  Apart from the fact that she told me that the first time she'd done it with her boyfriend, without a condom, they had awoken in a rather nasty puddle, it sounded like an interesting indulgence.

The first time I tried it, I didn't know about lubricant, but my boyfriend, who took some persuading and who even then was a bit sheepish, insisted on using a condom for his own protection anyway, which provided minimal lubrication.  It wasn't his cup of tea at all, if I was sucking his cock and mentioned we should move on to anal, he would immediately go soft.  When we finally did it, it wasn't a sex act that was anything to write home about partly due to the fact that he was rather large.  I think I managed to get the head of his cock in and it wasn't that much of a turn on, in fact it felt like I was doing a big poo.  It was all a bit off-putting, really.  So coupled with my unenthusiastic boyfriend, my anal adventures were shelved for some time.

Since then, I've come a long way, and anal is now a sex act that I quite enjoy.  When sufficiently lubricated, which is essential as arseholes obviously don't have pussy juice, it can be an extremely sensuous feeling - no wonder it is so forbidden.  A friend who is a lover of anal sex prefers men with very tiny penises simply so that she can have as much anal sex as possible, the smaller the penis, the better.

Working girls charge extra for Greek and not everyone does it.  I guess it's a bit feared, mainly because quite a bit of damage can be inflicted by the wrong client.  This is where the fact that sex work is legal is beneficial because a client can not ignore a request to stop if a sex worker asks him to, due to pain (which is usually a clear indicator of possible injury) or for any other reason.  If he does not stop any sex act as requested, or forces a sex worker to carry out a sex act she is not prepared to do, he will find himself up on a charge in court.  Last year I was a support person for a sex worker who took a (different) complaint about a client to the Police.  The cops were totally fantastic, proactive and supportive.  Absolutely worth paying your taxes for.

I personally allow Greek "at my discretion" which means that if a dude seems like he will be too rough or is simply too big, it will not be happening.  The manageress of an establishment I worked at in Wellington with a rather dry sense of humour told me that when requesting Greek, it is the one time men claim to have small penises.  On top of the hourly or half hourly rate, I charge $100 extra for Greek but I know of ladies who charge more than this depending on size.  One sex worker, who adores Greek sex, has no upper limit on size, and simply charges $100 extra per half inch above three inches, per minute of greek.  As far as I know, she has no shortage of clients.  So, if you have an 7 1/2 inch cock, expect to pay $1000 for one minute of Greek sex.  I guess if you're really into it, and you know that no one else will allow it due to your size, $1000 for such a treat is worth it.

Essential before Greek sex of course is anal play.  Some sex workers allow anal play without allowing anal sex and charge about $30 extra for this.  Anal play on men can include a prostrate massage, which is apparently the cause of rather mind-blowing orgasms for men like no other, if it's their thing.

One thing which is a real no-no is anal play which has not been agreed on and usually involves the same fingers which are used for playing with a pussy which are then snuck down for anal play and back up to the pussy.  It sounds harmless enough, but this is one of the causes of urinary tract infections (UTIs) which are the bane of many women's lives (not just sex workers) as they are extremely uncomfortable at the least and can also be painful and dangerous.  For this reason some sex workers no longer allow play with their pussy, which can be a real shame, because pussy play is great for g-spot stimulation and some of the most delicious orgasms ever.

I adore anal play when surgical gloves are used.  There is something about watching a man pull on those gloves that really does it for me.  Last time I attended an appointment with a gynecologist, a British man of African ancestry, as I watched him putting on the gloves and splaying his fingers, my knees which were bent over his stirrups went quite weak indeed.  It felt like a very exciting treat was in store.  I really had to keep things under control as he began his inspection of my pussy(?)  Or whatever it was he was doing down there, who knows, who cares, not me.  He probably gets that a lot, the forbidden doctor fantasy, most inappropriate.  I also have an excuse for donning gloves myself sometimes when playing with the juicy pussy of my girl playmate to protect her delicate lady parts from my long fingernails.  But, as I always say, that is another blog post.  I'd better get back on topic to greek and anal play...

As I mentioned, lots and lots of lubricant must be used when going anywhere near anyone's arsehole.  And keep whatever has been in the arsehole well away from the pussy without fresh gloves or a fresh condom.  If these simple rules are followed, a gay old time can indeed be had.  The next logical little thrill could be double penetration with fingers or a vibrator or whatever, but that must also always be at the sex worker's discretion.

Sunday, 8 June 2014

Men's fantasies - Other Woman Experience (OWE)

I've seen the OWE (other woman experience) happen a wee bit in my time doing sex work.  Last year a working girl friend of mine had a year long (in his eyes it was an affair) series of bookings with a regular client who declared his undying love, promised exotic holidays which she turned down as she knew they did not include payment for her, and told her he would leave his wife for her. It sounds like it was risky for his marriage, but it was a mere fantasy and he disappeared from her client list as quickly and unremarkably as he arrived. After enquiring if there was anyone else available at the house she worked at, he was never to be heard from again. Being the charming, generous (at the start) knight to a hot, loving working girl as if having an affair is a not uncommon fantasy but it's more risky on several levels.

I realise that fantasies come in all shapes and sizes but this one is a clanger because it can really do a sex worker's head in. Is she having her own version of the Pretty Woman movie, being rescued? How should she respond?

It seems to be more dishonest when a sex worker is sucked in but maybe it's just seen as the boot being on the other foot so that's ok. I have a working girl friend in Auckland who gets that many proposals its not funny, but is yet to be proposed to by a man who is actually legally able to marry her. Basically the relationships turn into nothing emotionally satisfying and not only that, she then loses a paying client.

If GFE is a step down price wise from PSE, then in the long run, considering emotional and other costs coupled with loyalty discounts expected or given, the OWE must be the Kmart of sex work. (But like everything bought on the cheap, it is often false economy when the item breaks down and a lot of money is spent on repairs.) OWE as a concept is not openly discussed but it most certainly does exist and it seems to be an economical alternative for guys who want a rich, gorgeous, sexually hospitable girl friend on tap for very little cost. And how will a dude convince a girl whom he has previously paid for sex that he should no longer pay her but still get sex with her more often than he does with his real life partner? By trying it on with those three little magic words "I love you".

Men throughout the ages have strung their mistresses along with the promise that they will leave their wives for them. I've never had any respect for those that believe it. It's sometimes a sad case - the woman who desperately wants a family of her own gets flattered by the promises of the married man who will leave his wife when the time is right and before long the childbearing years of the other woman are over when finally she realises it is never going to happen.

I've always said that it is safer for men to see a sex worker than have an affair as affairs can break up marriages, so when a sex worker becomes the open substitute for an affair and talk of breaking up perfectly good relationships in the real world happens, a reality check is needed.

For the client in question, when the shit hits the fan, a softly softly approach needs to be taken, on the off chance he really is serious about leaving his wife for a sex worker. It's actually only a fantasy because in real life he would probably not want to have an affair - that would be too dangerous and confronting as he might have to be true to his word and leave his wife. In a gentle way, it needs to be brought back to a client that this is merely a fantasy. A way of putting the fantasy side by side next to the reality is useful. Questions such as "so how would you support me when you've lost half of everything to your wife in the divorce settlement?" help with the much-needed reality check that not all fantasies translate to the real world. When the details are ironed out, life with the other woman does not seem so peachy after all. At this point they can both take their leave with dignity.

I can say from experience that it is delicious to have clients where there is a divine, sexual connection and where a fondness, admiration and almost love develop. Stolen trysts with ones lover who happens to be sexually attentive and not burdened with the day to day mundanity associated with marriage and raising children are meant to be just that - delicious moments taken every now and then. But all that glitters is not gold. The real gold of life, the treasure worth holding on to, is not based on paid-for illusions. Those illusions should be enjoyed for what they are, as if one is enjoying the Saturday matinee with a large serve of popcorn - maybe every Saturday if that's your thing. But when you leave the cinema/boudoir perhaps a little richer on some level for your experience, life goes on.

Pros: For just a few moments, real life disappears and it feels like you are having a delicious Claytons affair (Claytons - the drink you are having when you're not having a drink).
Cons: The complicated and expensive mess which could become a sex worker's and her client's life if attempts are made to transpose the fantasy into their real life. Ones wits must be actively kept about them.